summer, but five years ago

 i want those summer days with blue skies and the smell of cut grass back.

we would go on long walks, for hours. 

we would talk about pointless topics, the meaning of life, the science of the world, and it was like our conversations would touch every point of the universe.

those days were comfort and contentedness, happiness despite the sadness in the core of my body and soul.

i want those day back, where the windows would be left open, the curtains swaying in the warm breeze, my loved ones at the table swinging our legs and laughing at each other's stories. 

there would be the soft hum of the air conditioning, the soft melodies of hindi music from the radio. 

the rhythmic chop chop chop of the knife cutting carrots, the sizzling of oils and spices, the chirps of birds. 

the sunlight would stream in, bringing its warmth and light into the house, the light making all of our faces glow a golden brown.

the sweet taste of biscuits and chai, the time ticking by.

i would sway as the music played, my mouth would tug at its corners as they joked and i would feel waves of tears when we shared our pain.

we would feel like family on those summer days, like a whole, real family and i miss that, i really do.

other days we would play badminton.

one of us would hit the birdie, and it would fly up, up, up to the clouds and we would watch in awe as the birdie touched heights we would never reach.

we would stretch our limbs and run backwards, with not a single thought in our heads except ‘i must hit the birdie’ and we would swing.

even the earth seemed so happy on these days- the flowers swaying in the wind, the sky all sorts of beautiful hues, the water shimmering in the sunlight as if there was glitter in the water.

even the sun seemed reluctant to go down, and it would stay even after dinnertime, watching us go on about our lives together.

i want those summer days back.